US Politics | Sexist Love Island isn’t romance – it’s just toxic men demeaning women. No wonder Women’s Aid waded in
IS it just me or has this year's Love Island become more like Bruv Island? The show has descended from being about romance to bromance and has turned itself into the biggest vehicle for seriously toxic masculinity. Love Island has turned itself into the biggest vehicle for seriously toxic masculinity, with stars such as Dami Hope, picturedEroteme Billy Brown used the expression that he's going to ...stick it on anything and anyone he wants', as you might with something you claim as your propertyEroteme Let's not beat around the bush: We all know what that can lead to. And two prominent domestic abuse charities — Women's Aid and Refuge — have expressed their concern about "the misogyny, casual sexism, gaslighting and coercive control" in the villa.So, it isn't just me, then. I've hitherto loved the show, purely as a study of psychology and human behaviour, albeit in a somewhat constructed reality way. And I get how TV works. I get the set-ups and the need for producers to manipulate things and make their narrative happen. This series has not only been hugely frustrating but deeply worrying. Especially as we know a huge chunk of its audience is young and impressionable and could think certain behaviour is acceptable. A third of teenage girls have experienced some form of relationship abuse and 64 per cent of the remaining two thirds have endured it without recognising it as harmful behaviour. So we have a duty not to gloss over conduct like this. Scarily misogynistic and controlling There have been many shocking examples in the series, some less blatant than others. It has become like some televisual definition of misogyny itself. Putting aside, briefly, the tribal overtones among the men — the pack mentality, the back-slapping and chest-beating — it's their sense of ownership of the women that might seem subtle and could go unnoticed to the untrained eye. Billy using the expression that he's going to "stick it on anything and anyone he wants", as you might with something you claim as your property, when actually "flirting" would be a perfectly adequate word. Adam referring to Paige as "wifey material" as if all women want to marry. Most read in The US Sun HAIR RAISER! Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo is unrecognizable in MAJOR transformation KEEPING IT REAL Kim shows off butt stretch marks & hoses down Khloe in unedited bikini pics ACT FAST Over 100,000 families can apply $750 direct payments - deadline is in ONE WEEK DASH DOLL Kourtney Kardashian looks unrecognizable as she shows off dramatic makeover ARE YOU OK? Travis Barker concerns fans with 'disturbing' new photo after hospital stay HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW? Today fans predict Hoda or Savannah 'will be FIRED' amid 'feud' Davide clicking his fingers when talking about how he could get Ekin-Su back, "just like that". Luca blaming Gemma when Billy flirted with her. Dami saying Indiyah is "my girl". And who could forget the preposterous suggestion made by Jacques that the only way of testing if a relationship is any good is by trying it on with someone else? What kind of warped, neanderthal reasoning is that? It would be laughable if it wasn't so scarily misogynistic and controlling. The girls were treated much harsher for their actions during Casa Amor than the men judged themselves. Tasha and Ekin-Su being more or less painted as harlots for doing next to nothing when their other halves were snogging away like it was going out of fashion. These double standards are so outdated. Then, of course, there's the gaslighting. A term we use more and more nowadays because in the days of yore, we women were just led to believe we were bonkers, hysterical, emotional and needy by men who made us question our version of the truth. Jacques, for example, referring to Ekin-Su as "a headache". Dami telling Summer to "shut up" when she was honest with Indiyah about what they had shared in Casa Amor. Billy laughing in Danica's face when she was clearly upset about him ending things between them. The concerning thing is that these are the young men of the future, and I ask myself if I want them as role models for my sons. The concerning thing is that these are the young men of the future. Ulrika Jonsson So much of their behaviour may seem like harmless banter. A bit of fun. But it feels like they have abandoned any sense of a moral compass and fairness. Misogyny and casual sexism have cast long, dark shadows over this series and the men themselves don't appear to see it. You could argue that the producers should intervene, but we don't want men to constantly have to be told what is acceptable and not. We want them to know. And they really should by now. Thankfully, the women in the villa are showing some strength, resilience and resistance, which is encouraging, I guess. I am pleased we're kicking up a stink about what's going on and that we all cast our beady eyes over the things we find unacceptable. I mean, it's quite something when the 2018 king of gaslighting, Adam Collard, is now considered to be a very respectful man. If this is the future of relationships, we're all going to hell in a handcart and women can expect more degradation, harmful and offensive treatment. Some will say: "It is what it is." And I'll tell you what it is — it's sexist and disheartening. Everyone is so busy worrying about the hatred towards the Islanders when they leave the villa. What we really should be worried about is their behaviour while they're in there. The SunThankfully, the women in the villa are showing some strength, resilience and resistance, writes Ulrika Jonsson '/ ' Not OK to still shame women I WONDERED what that big white blob was bobbing aboard a boat around the island of Mykonos until I realised it was Elon Musk. I guess when you're worth more than $200billion it doesn't matter what your body looks like. Like the fact that he has fathered ten children by three women. Which is absolutely fine. Because he's a man. We can skim over his seed-sowing ways because, quite frankly, that's what men do. Just like actor Jude Law, who has six children by four women; Mick Jagger has eight by five. And the worst offender was perhaps Bob Marley, who had 11 kids by nine women. These are just men "doing their thing". I can guarantee all the children do not live with their father but with their mothers. I, of course, have spent much of the past 14 years being absolutely hammered for having four children by four men – biologically. (One father disappeared and one of the others adopted the child so, officially speaking, I'm a 4 x 3. But I'm nit-picking). I still rail against the inequitable treatment of women in these circumstances. All my children have lived with me and I've been the main breadwinner, doing the majority of caring and upbringing. But we can't possibly credit women with those qualities. Because they're expected of women – as if we're some kind of automatic, dormant creature driven by moral obligation and responsibility. Instead, we let the blokes shine bright in the light of their potency and virility. Whereas women who shoulder the burden remain trapped in the darkness of promiscuity. Because if you've had lots of kids by different partners you deserve to be shamed. Funny old world, innit? MY KIDS ARE 27 YEARS IN DEBT WHO wouldn't want Myleene Klass as a mum? She really is top notch. First Klass. And now, to boot, we learn that the mum of three makes her two eldest children invoice her for chores they've done around the house in exchange for pocket money. GettyMyleene Klass really is top notch '/ ' Myleene KlassAnd now, to boot, we learn that the mum of three makes her eldest kids invoice her for chores they've done around the house '/ ' I've certainly made plenty of parenting mistakes. And one of them has been to perhaps spoil my kids by doing everything for them. Maybe there's no such thing as spoiling kids in this way, but after having had a childhood ladened with responsibility, chores and duties, I wanted different for my kids. I wanted them to live a life of relative freedom unencumbered by too much obligation. Which is why I now refer to them as the Ungratefuls. Basically, made a rod for my own back, didn't I? While I wholeheartedly respect Myleene's pocket money policy, I also wonder if we shouldn't expect even more of our children. They should be helping with things and doing chores around the home in exchange for nothing, because that teaches them about community and accountability and helps develop their sense of conscience. Anyway, it's too late for me. I'm off now to print out a thousand or so back-dated invoices to the Ungratefuls for all the a**e-wiping and pandering I've done these past 27 years. LET'S FIX GENDER HEALTH GAP MUCH in life has been designed by men, for men, despite women making up 51 per cent of the population. So it's nice to know the failings women have been forced to endure are finally being acknowledged by the medical profession. The new Women's Health Strategy for England (Scotland and Wales already have theirs) comes with a raft of commitments towards improving women's access to equitable healthcare. To think that we live, on average, four years longer than men but spend more time in ill health, it's unbelievable that we've always been the poor relation in the health system. Our needs and wellbeing haven't always, historically, been taken seriously. We've simply been told to suffer more quietly. We've not been listened to and in many cases, just plain dismissed. It is shocking that women might still go to their doctor with menopausal symptoms and get sent away with anti-depressants. There's lots of content in this new strategy – medics will be given extra training around women's health issues. Boys and girls will be given sex education together, in order that boys too learn about everything from periods to the menopause. It has also pledged to improve access to contraception, IVF and mental health services. And this all comes off the back of this unspoken understanding between women and the rest of society that we have always been expected to put up with more. The strategy sounds promising and I feel encouraged that while much of my life has been spent in an at times unsympathetic, belittling health system, it will be of benefit to my two daughters and their peers. But it also sounds expensive, so let's hope the focus will be on actions and not just words.
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