US Politics | Ferne McCann’s leaked voice notes were malicious and cruel but here’s why she shouldn’t be sacked, says Ulrika Jonsson
FERNE McCANN'S admission that she did make those disgusting comments about one of the acid attack victims of her ex Arthur Collins was as shocking as it was disappointing. In an attempt to fashion some form of damage limitation, Ferne says her leaked voice note — where she calls the victim an "ugly f***ing c***" — has been "edited, manipulated and taken entirely out of context". 
I have no doubt Ferne McCann is now mortified and full of regretRex 
There have been calls for ITV to axe her, not least from victim Sophie Hall herself Ferne claims she said what she did in order to "protect her family and herself from serious harm and in the face of significant threats" — a comment which throws up more questions than it answers. But at least she's accepting some responsibility for the situation. We all say things we regret. If you haven't, then you're either lying or you're Mother Teresa. We say things privately — not intended for public consumption — in personal communications. I know for a fact that if the stark and sometimes vulgar honesty which is the foundation of my relationship with my best friend was ever revealed, you might not just drop your morning toast but be utterly outraged by our use of language. Damaging stuff My bestie and I may denigrate other people. We may slag them off. We bitch about them — albeit not people who have suffered or are incapacitated — because we have an innate need to sound off or unload our envy or profound dislike of others. We even have a weekly nomination for whose letterbox we'd both like to poo through. It ain't pretty talk. And we sometimes feel a tinge of shame. But our exchanges are intended as private conversations and if I didn't have access to this informal chat, I fear I might lose my mind. It's not born out of raw malice. Most read in The US Sun 'GOING TO HELL' Lori Vallow's mother-in-law issues haunting message to cult mom KNIFE RAMPAGE Eerie link emerges between university murders and killer that inspired Scream 'FIND HIM' Dad claims clues in case 'linked to JonBenet Ramsey murder' dismissed by cops END OF DAYS I'm time traveller from 2671 - the biggest event in history is coming up FIGHT TO SURVIVE Teen 'locked in room for a year with only a bucket for urine and poop' SARA SNAPS The View cuts to commercial after Joy's NSFW comment as Sara whines live on air I do feel empathy for Ferne for that very reason. She presumed she was talking confidentially. But as the truth has emerged, no one can deny that calling someone who has endured life-changing injuries through an acid attack what she did is nothing short of a disgrace. There have been calls for ITV to axe her, not least from victim Sophie Hall herself. And I empathise, to a point. There is a barbarity about the comment that makes it defenceless. It doesn't paint Ferne, who portrays herself as a dedicated mother and family woman, in a very good light. And only a few weeks ago, she was also exposed as having called one of her best friends, Sam Faiers, a "fat c***" in another old voice note. Choice language and damaging stuff. But surely ITV has a responsibility to do its due diligence when it employs 'slebs on huge contracts. My feeling is that they're all too quick at signing people up because of social media followings — all they can see is pound signs — and the days of taking care and consideration in making big decisions like this are long gone. Now everyone jumps on the bandwagon of turning reality stars into something they may not be, or people are too willing to splash their cash on those who aren't necessarily qualified or worthy of the work. But do I think Ferne should be axed? No, I really don't. We're all too quick to sack people nowadays. People only need to put one foot wrong and decades of hard work and career go down the drain. And I'm not entirely sure what it would achieve. I lost a lucrative modelling contract some 25 years ago — one which I'd been engaged in for a number of years — purely because it emerged in the Press that I'd been unfaithful to my then-husband. Seriously demonic The company chose to take the moral high ground. I was hugely disappointed and my self-esteem was sorely bruised. They made their righteous choice — they didn't want an adulterer associated with their brand. But at the time there was no consideration for what I might be going through personally. I had made a mistake and felt bereft but, thankfully, other work quickly replaced it and my career went to even greater strength. I can't deny Ferne's comments were malicious and cruel. But I can't believe for a second that she actually meant what she said. You would have to be made of some seriously demonic, evil, inhuman characteristics to, in some roundabout way, endorse the throwing of acid in anyone's face by insulting the victim. And I don't think she is. We all have the ability to be mean and cruel, even though her comments go well beyond that. We may never know what it was that provoked her to breathe such vitriol on someone so vulnerable. But Ferne is a mother herself and there is no way in the world she could even contemplate something so horrendous happening to her own, beloved daughter. It was a terrible, terrible thing to say. I have no doubt Ferne is now mortified and full of regret. While there are no excuses, we also know that people are capable of change. And we should never forget that to err is human. MICHELLE BODY IMAGE WORRY ALL TOO FAMILIAR MICHELLE OBAMA has spoken candidly about how she doesn't like the way she looks. She revealed she forces herself to say nice things about her image every day, when she stands in front of the mirror to try to battle the devil on her shoulder that tells her otherwise. 
Getty Images - GettyFormer First Lady Michelle Obama revealed she forces herself to say nice things about her image every day '/ ' If this brilliant, stunning former First Lady can't see how fab she looks, what hope is there for the rest of us? But the fact is, as women, this is very much our lot. We've been programmed to pick ourselves apart, to tell ourselves we're not good enough or to find all the faults. Because historically, culturally and societally, we're never slim enough or fat enough or tall enough. We don't have the right size boobs or cheekbones or luscious thick eyebrows. Ageing not fun I admit, I do it daily. I try to avoid mirrors for that very reason because I will look into them and pull everything about me apart. I'm wondering if it's an age thing. Goes without saying that the ageing process is not as fun as you hope. Or as gracious and forgiving as you think it will be when you're in your twenties. In my youth I might have been displeased by the size of my snout but I always knew a bit of blusher on my cheek made the world a better place. Fast forward to my fifties and "putting my face on" takes an hour. All I see is how my face is collapsing and diminishing – except for the hairs on my chinny, chin, chin. There's plenty of them. I guess it's encouraging to hear that a beautiful, intelligent woman like Michelle has the same aesthetic struggles as the rest of us. It makes me feel like we're in it together. But it doesn't change the fact that no amount of telling myself I look all right will make me believe I do. A DAY OF RECKONING FOR TRANS WORKERS' FIRMS LGBT charity Stonewall is urging employers to allow their trans staff to have two email addresses so they can "swap gender identities on different days". This is guidance recommended for hundreds of organisations that are keen to earn a place on its Workplace Equality Index. It may be a simplification of what is going on but these kinds of statements do nothing but cause greater and greater confusion for those of us standing on the sidelines trying so desperately to understand and be empathetic. I presumed, rightly or wrongly, that the whole point of people struggling to identify with the gender in which they were born (not just transgender people but non-binary, too), was convincing the world they are, in fact, another. And that they should be granted the right to transition from one to the other without prejudice, hatred or misunderstanding. What I cannot comprehend is if the rest of us who want to help and be supportive in their quest are told that one day they might be one gender and the next they might be another. The vast majority of us want to help them on their journey – not insult them by saying the wrong thing or intimating something that might be deemed thoughtless or insulting. but pray, do tell, how do we do that with a confusing proposal such as this? Surely it's only going to be a matter of time before someone upsets a trans person and then be labelled a "transphobe" because they could not know, foresee or anticipate which gender that person is on a Wednesday, when they had been another on Tuesday. SOLD A BABY DREAM IN a recent podcast, Kate Lawler talks about motherhood and how she had no idea what a strain having a baby would put on the relationship with her partner. Quite frankly, what did she think? As a mother of four, it's good to hear the articulation of such home truths because I was sold the dream of blissful pregnancy, safe and euphoric childbirth, dreamy breastfeeding and joyous early years by all the literature available. 
InstagramKate Lawler talks about how she had no idea what a strain having a baby would put on the relationship with her partner '/ ' I drank it all in and trusted all would be OK because women have had children since the beginning of time. Except, I already had a lot of experience with children. I became a sister at the age of ten and my subsequent siblings became my charges. I did the night shifts. I had the puke on my clothes. Bloody tough I spent hours trying to get them off to sleep. But I figured when it came to my turn, things would be set to a background of rainbows and unicorns and I'd be basking in the warm light of my maternal achievement and would just have it all sussed. The reality was not like that at all. I found all four, from start to toddlerdom, complex, conflicting and damn hard. I wonder if we shouldn't have proper reality checks before we enter into this deal with Mother Nature to procreate. As someone who was armed with more experience than most, it was nothing short of bloody tough. And I resented the sight of the yummy mummies who breeze through it with all the joy and ease of fortnight's holiday in Marbs. I still think nowadays, despite better talks about the realities, so many women have the expectation that things will be just dandy. It is the modern way, we have everything at our disposal. But the fact remains, if you're having a baby, it's going to have a profound effect on your life. If it doesn't, you can't be doing it right.
I have no doubt Ferne McCann is now mortified and full of regretRex There have been calls for ITV to axe her, not least from victim Sophie Hall herself Ferne claims she said what she did in order to "protect her family and herself from serious harm and in the face of significant threats" — a comment which throws up more questions than it answers. But at least she's accepting some responsibility for the situation. We all say things we regret. If you haven't, then you're either lying or you're Mother Teresa. We say things privately — not intended for public consumption — in personal communications. I know for a fact that if the stark and sometimes vulgar honesty which is the foundation of my relationship with my best friend was ever revealed, you might not just drop your morning toast but be utterly outraged by our use of language. Damaging stuff My bestie and I may denigrate other people. We may slag them off. We bitch about them — albeit not people who have suffered or are incapacitated — because we have an innate need to sound off or unload our envy or profound dislike of others. We even have a weekly nomination for whose letterbox we'd both like to poo through. It ain't pretty talk. And we sometimes feel a tinge of shame. But our exchanges are intended as private conversations and if I didn't have access to this informal chat, I fear I might lose my mind. It's not born out of raw malice. Most read in The US Sun 'GOING TO HELL' Lori Vallow's mother-in-law issues haunting message to cult mom KNIFE RAMPAGE Eerie link emerges between university murders and killer that inspired Scream 'FIND HIM' Dad claims clues in case 'linked to JonBenet Ramsey murder' dismissed by cops END OF DAYS I'm time traveller from 2671 - the biggest event in history is coming up FIGHT TO SURVIVE Teen 'locked in room for a year with only a bucket for urine and poop' SARA SNAPS The View cuts to commercial after Joy's NSFW comment as Sara whines live on air I do feel empathy for Ferne for that very reason. She presumed she was talking confidentially. But as the truth has emerged, no one can deny that calling someone who has endured life-changing injuries through an acid attack what she did is nothing short of a disgrace. There have been calls for ITV to axe her, not least from victim Sophie Hall herself. And I empathise, to a point. There is a barbarity about the comment that makes it defenceless. It doesn't paint Ferne, who portrays herself as a dedicated mother and family woman, in a very good light. And only a few weeks ago, she was also exposed as having called one of her best friends, Sam Faiers, a "fat c***" in another old voice note. Choice language and damaging stuff. But surely ITV has a responsibility to do its due diligence when it employs 'slebs on huge contracts. My feeling is that they're all too quick at signing people up because of social media followings — all they can see is pound signs — and the days of taking care and consideration in making big decisions like this are long gone. Now everyone jumps on the bandwagon of turning reality stars into something they may not be, or people are too willing to splash their cash on those who aren't necessarily qualified or worthy of the work. But do I think Ferne should be axed? No, I really don't. We're all too quick to sack people nowadays. People only need to put one foot wrong and decades of hard work and career go down the drain. And I'm not entirely sure what it would achieve. I lost a lucrative modelling contract some 25 years ago — one which I'd been engaged in for a number of years — purely because it emerged in the Press that I'd been unfaithful to my then-husband. Seriously demonic The company chose to take the moral high ground. I was hugely disappointed and my self-esteem was sorely bruised. They made their righteous choice — they didn't want an adulterer associated with their brand. But at the time there was no consideration for what I might be going through personally. I had made a mistake and felt bereft but, thankfully, other work quickly replaced it and my career went to even greater strength. I can't deny Ferne's comments were malicious and cruel. But I can't believe for a second that she actually meant what she said. You would have to be made of some seriously demonic, evil, inhuman characteristics to, in some roundabout way, endorse the throwing of acid in anyone's face by insulting the victim. And I don't think she is. We all have the ability to be mean and cruel, even though her comments go well beyond that. We may never know what it was that provoked her to breathe such vitriol on someone so vulnerable. But Ferne is a mother herself and there is no way in the world she could even contemplate something so horrendous happening to her own, beloved daughter. It was a terrible, terrible thing to say. I have no doubt Ferne is now mortified and full of regret. While there are no excuses, we also know that people are capable of change. And we should never forget that to err is human. MICHELLE BODY IMAGE WORRY ALL TOO FAMILIAR MICHELLE OBAMA has spoken candidly about how she doesn't like the way she looks. She revealed she forces herself to say nice things about her image every day, when she stands in front of the mirror to try to battle the devil on her shoulder that tells her otherwise. Getty Images - GettyFormer First Lady Michelle Obama revealed she forces herself to say nice things about her image every day '/ ' If this brilliant, stunning former First Lady can't see how fab she looks, what hope is there for the rest of us? But the fact is, as women, this is very much our lot. We've been programmed to pick ourselves apart, to tell ourselves we're not good enough or to find all the faults. Because historically, culturally and societally, we're never slim enough or fat enough or tall enough. We don't have the right size boobs or cheekbones or luscious thick eyebrows. Ageing not fun I admit, I do it daily. I try to avoid mirrors for that very reason because I will look into them and pull everything about me apart. I'm wondering if it's an age thing. Goes without saying that the ageing process is not as fun as you hope. Or as gracious and forgiving as you think it will be when you're in your twenties. In my youth I might have been displeased by the size of my snout but I always knew a bit of blusher on my cheek made the world a better place. Fast forward to my fifties and "putting my face on" takes an hour. All I see is how my face is collapsing and diminishing – except for the hairs on my chinny, chin, chin. There's plenty of them. I guess it's encouraging to hear that a beautiful, intelligent woman like Michelle has the same aesthetic struggles as the rest of us. It makes me feel like we're in it together. But it doesn't change the fact that no amount of telling myself I look all right will make me believe I do. A DAY OF RECKONING FOR TRANS WORKERS' FIRMS LGBT charity Stonewall is urging employers to allow their trans staff to have two email addresses so they can "swap gender identities on different days". This is guidance recommended for hundreds of organisations that are keen to earn a place on its Workplace Equality Index. It may be a simplification of what is going on but these kinds of statements do nothing but cause greater and greater confusion for those of us standing on the sidelines trying so desperately to understand and be empathetic. I presumed, rightly or wrongly, that the whole point of people struggling to identify with the gender in which they were born (not just transgender people but non-binary, too), was convincing the world they are, in fact, another. And that they should be granted the right to transition from one to the other without prejudice, hatred or misunderstanding. What I cannot comprehend is if the rest of us who want to help and be supportive in their quest are told that one day they might be one gender and the next they might be another. The vast majority of us want to help them on their journey – not insult them by saying the wrong thing or intimating something that might be deemed thoughtless or insulting. but pray, do tell, how do we do that with a confusing proposal such as this? Surely it's only going to be a matter of time before someone upsets a trans person and then be labelled a "transphobe" because they could not know, foresee or anticipate which gender that person is on a Wednesday, when they had been another on Tuesday. SOLD A BABY DREAM IN a recent podcast, Kate Lawler talks about motherhood and how she had no idea what a strain having a baby would put on the relationship with her partner. Quite frankly, what did she think? As a mother of four, it's good to hear the articulation of such home truths because I was sold the dream of blissful pregnancy, safe and euphoric childbirth, dreamy breastfeeding and joyous early years by all the literature available. InstagramKate Lawler talks about how she had no idea what a strain having a baby would put on the relationship with her partner '/ ' I drank it all in and trusted all would be OK because women have had children since the beginning of time. Except, I already had a lot of experience with children. I became a sister at the age of ten and my subsequent siblings became my charges. I did the night shifts. I had the puke on my clothes. Bloody tough I spent hours trying to get them off to sleep. But I figured when it came to my turn, things would be set to a background of rainbows and unicorns and I'd be basking in the warm light of my maternal achievement and would just have it all sussed. The reality was not like that at all. I found all four, from start to toddlerdom, complex, conflicting and damn hard. I wonder if we shouldn't have proper reality checks before we enter into this deal with Mother Nature to procreate. As someone who was armed with more experience than most, it was nothing short of bloody tough. And I resented the sight of the yummy mummies who breeze through it with all the joy and ease of fortnight's holiday in Marbs. I still think nowadays, despite better talks about the realities, so many women have the expectation that things will be just dandy. It is the modern way, we have everything at our disposal. But the fact remains, if you're having a baby, it's going to have a profound effect on your life. If it doesn't, you can't be doing it right.
No comments: